grief spells for the fall equinox: love notes to other shapeshifters

Dear Shapeshifter,

Like the coming of winter, grief slows us down, stretches out the night, plays with time, reveals the ephemerality and liminality of the landscapes we find ourselves in, and of ourselves.

I hope that wherever you are in your grief, you are feeling held and supported and powerful. I’m feeling particularly held by the changing landscape, the fog, and adrienne maree brown’s words from her spell for the fall equinox:

“Let your leaves fall down

and sing to your ghosts

nourish life with everything

you release”

These words remind me of the possibility for there to be nourishment in grief, and inspire questions that feel like spells to live inside:

What if coming undone is an organic process? What if we are supposed to molt? What if, like fall, the way grief destabilizes & decomposes us is also a creative process? What are we feeding and nourishing, as we allow ourselves to soften? What if we embraced shapeshifting as an undeniable part of living and dying? What if shapeshifting is a holy thing?

Questions are spells to live inside. Questions are openings, portals, welcoming dreams and possibilities. Here’s one: where grief is not only a response to change, but a force of change.

Grief is both a response to change and a force of change.
Grief is the ripple in the pond and the hand that throws the pebble.
Grief is the great rearranger, the turner of the cosmic compost heap.
Grief asks us to join the world in its endless process of coming undone, and becoming something else.
In grief, the roots of the world grow into us and the crispness of our separateness crumbles.
And this is how in despair, wonder finds us.
The resurrection of what we have lost is not coming, but the world is being remade, and so are we.
We cannot hold onto anything for very long, but we can feed the worlds to come.
We can choose to love anyway.
Grief will destroy and remake us again and again.
We can choose to love anyway.

Grateful for each of you + sending big care,

Mara June

P.S. Writing has always helped me to bear the unbearable, has always felt like part spell and part love letter. Grief spells is a monthly creative project/love letter/newsletter for fellow grieflings that I’m just starting, and part of a bigger dream of building my own accountability in writing, art, and music making. You’ll receive little love notes like this one, resources, and updates on offerings. Sign up here.